Man flu!! Does it exist? Every woman I know seems to think so and not in a good way. I’ve been accused of being overly dramatic, a big baby and various other ball shrinking terms in the past few days, and I confess I didn’t like it one bit. Man flu seems to have found a new role in emasculating guys for daring to moan about the sniffles and spending quality recovery time hidden in a duvet with a jug of lemsip max strength powder while our brave women folk soldier on and keep the aspidistra flying.
With my masculinity hanging in the balance I thought it was time I did my part to save it from a beating every time I go down from a virus (about three times a year) and put any (mostly female, that’s right women; you know who you are) detractors straight.
So my research started promisingly enough with this nice piece: Researchers say the production of the sex hormone oestrogen in women could have a beneficial effect on their inbuilt response to disease causing bugs.
They found it boosts women’s immunity which represents the body’s first line of defense against viruses such as the flu.
Happy Days, the cat’s out of the bag I thought: Dr Maya Saleh, of the McGill University Health Centre, Montreal, said that the results showed that women had a more powerful “inflammatory response” – the early reaction of the body to disease. Us blokes don’t have that!! Everything’s explained then. I’m no longer to be branded a great fanny for complaining of plague like symptoms every time there’s a bout of the cold going about. But wait, there’s more – Nut’s lag mag had a survey concerning man flu a while back that claimed it was assuredly the real deal and Dr. Peytra Boynton (sex educator, agony aunt and academic) had this to say: “Men may well find dealing with illness difficult, and may appear to complain more than women when they get sick, but this is due more to the culture they’re raised in rather than them having a specific ‘male only’ disease.
Interestingly if a women’s magazine were to suggest men were wimps when it came to being ill, or moaned about their health there would be a backlash with complaints about unfair treatment of men. Yet when a lad’s mag repackages this sexist assumption nobody seems to bat an eyelid.”
She’s right, I thought, sexism be damned. But what about the science? Could it be that men have a tendency to complain more because its based on a culture of complaining when sick? Was it a tradition of moaning passed down by moaners from generations ago, a torch of Olympic level moaning kept alive by the easy concession of sickness and days off to avoid suffering, or are women just naturally better at coping with diseases due to strong genetic factors. The NHS found that although the oestrogen study increases scientists’ understanding of the role of the caspase-12 protein in infection, and how it is affected by oestrogen, the study has limited direct implications for human health, and the findings are over-interpreted in some of the newspapers.
Although a human gene was used on the study, the experiments were carried out in mice, and results may not be applicable to humans. In addition, even if a similar phenomenon was found to occur in humans, most people do not have an active caspase-12 gene, and therefore the results would only apply to a small proportion of people.
Shit!! Again this was pretty inconclusive. It says that it may or may not be the case and I didn’t like the implications that it was not. Luckily, as hope was fading like spit in the wind and I found myself giving in to the idea that men might just be massive cry babies Dr. Oliver Restif (notably – a man) had this to say:
Ironically, it’s apparently all down to the inherent masculine drive for adventure and danger.
According to Cambridge University researchers, modern man’s ancestors had a predilection to risky behaviour (which is still seen today in anything from getting into fights to having affairs).
This tendency would have made the male system more vulnerable to becoming ill.
It could have gone down the obvious path of evolving stronger immune systems to beat off bugs.
But this would have put men at risk of developing various auto-immune diseases caused by the immune system going into overdrive.
It would also have zapped resources needed for other bodily processes, including reproduction.
So nature opted for a weaker immune system, ushering in the man who thinks a cold is the flu and a headache a migraine.
Other research has shown that men take more time off work for colds and flu than women and that the sexes are targeted and infected by different parasites when holidaying in the tropics.
Well I know what you’re thinking. That’s a lot of conflicting research. It all seems to contradict or undermine the opposition and you could pick your side and stick with it based on whichever side of the fence you come down on regarding the man flu debate.
So how are we to find the conclusion? how am I and men in general supposed to find closure when even the experts can’t decide on the issue. Time to man up I decided, and take one for the team, Because the way I see it is this – Fair play to women for being able to stoically push on through while we men are left bed ridden or encrusted like mollusks on the sofa. We couldn’t do it, we wouldn’t do it and we’d be useless if we tried. We have to lie down and die and that’s just the way of it. And its lucky that women can continue on in these circumstances, because with us men laid up and out, we need them on call to pick up the slack and keep things running.
With that said, those three times a year guys get sick we should allow some jibes about being a big girl or a drama king, a fader or a pussy willow even and here’s why: Most of the time us guys are not a dilapidated wreck needing a nurse maid and chicken soup on call. Most of the time we are walking testosterone factories (part of the problem you say) and we carry out the business of being manly with the minimum of fuss. And in all fairness us guys bring a lot of heat down on ourselves through our own behavior when we’re not ill. For starters we should be more understanding with women when that time of the month comes around or when the menopause begins its descent in the later years of a woman’s cycle. And I can certainly see why women are justly getting in their revenge by calling men on being wimps for their inability to stomach a light cold. It’s because our blatant inconsideration for any of their own suffering almost warrants it.
So to women I say: get your licks in now while we’re good for it, we’re ass-holes and we do deserve it sometimes, a lot of the time, well maybe all the time. But hey, that’s the nature of the beast and you love us for it (even when you hate us). And to guys I affirm the standard to which we shall live and dare not fail to meet, and that is: Being a wimp when your sick is fine, but the other 99% of the time never surrender your gender. To quote Dr Dre (the only doctor you really ever need); ‘I don’t sympathize with stupid Ho’s and Wimpy guys’. Because to be the Man, you gotta beat the Man and you are the Man amigo, so fucking act like one. Peace out
